Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
