Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
they need to just BURY HIM!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
