can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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