Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
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