Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
