So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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