Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
