apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
