Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize