i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Randomize
