I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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