took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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