It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
