so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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