Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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