Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
