Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
