There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
