Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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