I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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