it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
