I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
