mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
