very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
