I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It's blow job season.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
