her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
