he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I am midnight drunk by noon
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
