dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
