Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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