I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize