Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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