lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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