You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
