You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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