You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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