so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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