I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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