If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We talked him into tasing himself.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It's blow job season.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
