Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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