shes about as inviting as chlamydia
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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