a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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