i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
