no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
