so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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