just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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