I don't think brook has ever known best
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
