last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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