but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
