i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
