she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
