He is such a slut. More and more my type.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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