seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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