i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
That's intense
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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