Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
