ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize