HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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