I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
