Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
