And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
did i just pee glitter
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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