yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
