Pappa wants mamma naked
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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