i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize