Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
