she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
