Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
